Open Eyes Tevet

We’ve made it through the journey of the Jewish autumn.
Tishrei’s harvest season gives us a month of holy days, both the joy of abundance and the fear of our own life’s harvest. The month after, in the post glow of the hard work of holiness, we may feel bitter – MarCheshvan, we may feel fallen – the month’s letter nun hinting at nifal. Kislev supports us – samech “support” its letter – and asks us to dream and focus, to carry the energy of that quarter through the winter, like tucking your heart gently into your pocket for keeping in the cold.
And now we come through parashat Miketz to find ourselves “from the end” of Kislev’s sleepy darkness and into the winter month of Tevet.

There is a midrash that talks of Tevet being the one time a year Leviathan arises from the tehom deep. When they surface Leviathan lets loose a great roar, scaring away the usual predator fish and allowing smaller fish to flourish. This month is also the month of anger in many manuscripts of the Sefer Yetzirah, and the holy Leviathan – both chaos monster and g-d’s own childhood play friend – comes to remind us of the potentially righteous power of anger in support of others.

We must open our sight – as our people move from Genesis to Exodus, we find the powers that once lauded Yoseph now enslave their descendants. We must open to our anger – as we move through the world, we find anger and frustration in places where our boundaries or safety feel harmed. To repress our anger is to not let ourselves cry out, that very action that begins the Exodus process of leaving Egypt. We must open to what holy monster lurks within us and remember They too are g-d’s beloved.

Movement of Weekday Amidah Doodles

These blessings move from the inner personal to the redemptive totality and so I drew them starting within a sephirot setting. But when they reach the  heart, I envisioned the next 4 as the chambers of a communal Tiferet/heart. Then, through the verse Justice as water, I moved through Mishpat to the outer world, through the water metaphor of oxbow lake=minim to the rather playful Boneh of a beaver dam, it ends with a diversifying the living water into a healthy estuary and the prayferful voices of the earth below.

0 Three first blessings [knowing place in human (ancestor) world, human (mortal) world, and relation to g-d] lead to
1. Daat – Understanding;
2. Hashiveinu – Understanding; Wisdom leads to seeking repentance
3. Slach – Repentance leads to wanting Forgiveness
… [ and not just individually but communally as well leads to the Heart/Tiferet]

4. Goel – Forgiveness and g-d seeing our struggle leads to the redemption of a total people
5. Rfuah – Redemption brings communal stability, which brings wholistic health
6. Shanim – Supportive stable community brings easier time making the goodness of the years.
7. Mkabetz – Stability draws in more community
8. Mishpat –  More community leads to needing our own justice systems

… [ misphat kamayim, justice as water turns into a water as our prayers move into nature ]
9. Minim – Stronger community means we can determine who is hurting our community and uninvite
10. Tzaddikim – and give more compassion support to those were hurt by imbalanced power
11. Boneh Yerushalayim – We create a city of multiple peaces : Ir Shalayim : not just one shalom; where compassion/rachamim dwells
12. Tzemiach – And even with all this we still wait for moshiach not assuming our work makes moshiach, we do not do the work for moshiach
13. Skema Koleinu – And therefore we still pray – hear our voice and have mercy

If You Prick Us …

g-d of the thorn bush,
You ensnared and be-brambled,
i am caught in thorny constriction
where all movement becomes anguish.

As you took the people out, please extract me from these narrows.

Guest on Kumba Hineni – Kislev Big Dreams

Chatted with my dear friend Enzi Tanner about Kislev and big revolutionary dreaming for their podcast “Kumba Hineni”.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/kuumba-hineni-a-podcast-on-intersectionality-more/id1567640322

The core parts of Kislev given in the Sefer Yetzirah draw on rest and focus, on dreams and direction. It is these things that bring us toward the dedication of Hannukah. It is also these very things that lead us into revolutionary centered thinking.

When we allow ourselves deep rest, it combats the colonization of time.

When we focus our energies, we combat the scattered self that capitalism capitalizes on.

With dream and focus, we can finally understand our deeper needs and longings, what dedication we want to bring to the world, what dedication the world needs of us.

Onion Shabbat Vibes

Shabbat Shalom beloved friends!

I hope you have some moment today with as much tender joy and pride as this man and his prize winning onions!

I hope you have a savory toothsome Shabbat flavored with the taste of the World To Come.

I hope you have a Shabbat layered with meaning, Torah fresh and earth-spicy as chives, Torah as sweet-with-age and storable as the root.

I hope for you the realization of your unique deep joys and your shared communal enjoyment.

*inspired by a table full of Jews talking about how garlic and onions are so beloved, they couldn’t date someone that didn’t like alliums*

A Little Kislev Sondheim

The Baker’s Wife sings these lyrics in the Original Broadway Cast album of Into the Woods. In Kislev, there is a Jewish tradition that it is a month of focus and of dreams/sleep. Sondheim’s words about wishes have stuck with me my whole life, longer now than I lived without them.
Each year they show up at some point. And each year they hit like a sledgehammer. And each year something hollow in me rings.

“But how can you know what you want
Till you get what you want
And you see if you like it?”
– Question : How can I learn to trust myself and my wants?

“I never wish –
Just within reason …”
– Question : Where are ways I can contract and wish within reason? Ways I can expand and wish outside reason?

“When you know you can’t have what you want
Where’s the profit in wishing?”
– Question : What are ways to uncouple the idea of profitability from my dreams and wishes?