Narrow Bridges

What are words but
a rope across the pit,
a bridge over void,
a ray of light unspooled –
lengthening shadows below.

Prophets of old and ever
with lips of stone and of fire;
honey dripping and bees buzzing.
And here I am

even in Arcadia hineni

Lips like shoe leather, too worn and shiny with use.
An old-time tin-can telephone where my mouth waits.
And the murmur of modems, humming hoped apprehension.
Does it work without another ear pressed tight to the other side?
Does it work even with?

Like a seashell, I hear the waves
and the voice calling
Hold please
hold

Time for that ‘Getting Free’ Energy!

Getting ready for that Nisan energy!

Give a big stretch for all the spring happening. Start thinking about what the Mitzrayim of your year has been, what have you joyfully (complexly) left behind. What newness are you inviting? How can we take our Purim fun and carry it with us (along with that matzah) toward the horizon of Freedom.

NisanEnergy #SpringHasSprung #HorizonOfFreedom #PesachRevolution #HateHumanHierarchy #BreakFree #GodKnows

The Locusts Have No King

“The locusts have no king And yet all go forth arrayed.”

Read not “to the locusts” but “to the four.”
What four? The four corners.
For when the whole world from all four corners has no king, no queen, no monarch or master, then we will go forth as one swarm together.

And some say there will only be no kings if first we swarm.

#ModernMidrash#AnarchistAllegory#FourCorners#LocustsHaveNoKing#SolidarityTheology#AIsForAnarchist#Tzitzit#Swarm#SingularVerb#CollectiveNouns#PresentParticiple#VavConjuctive#WibblyWobblyTimeyWimey

#RightInTheFeels : Temple Edition

I am no lover of “The Temple,” nationalism, or the animal sacrifice system … but if this mesmerizing curtain didn’t give me feelings …

“Its fabric owing to the draught of wind was in perpetual motion, and as this motion was communicated from the bottom and the curtain bulged out to its highest extent, it afforded a pleasant spectacle from which a man could scarcely tear himself away.”

– from The Letter of Aristeas*

* a second century BCE Hellenistic work framed as correspondence concerning the 72 translators of the Torah from Hebrew to Greek and Ptolemy the Great’s expense

1492 – a Dark Thread

Don’t forget 1492 was a year after Christians captured Spain from Muslim rule. It was the year they expelled Jews or forcibly converted them, to only later create The Inquisition for those supposedly saved conversos. It was the year they were flush with the riches of conquest, happy to fund big projects with stolen wealth.

The pillage and destruction of the New World is the direct action of that power. There is a direct thin line between Christian hegemony in Europe, expulsion and revulsion of Jews, and the attempted apocalypse / continuing genocide of the Turtle Island.

Haggadic Hints

My favorite random tidbit for the Haggadah is not an actual part of the haggadah/seder, but rather the number of parts! So the order of seder has 15 parts. 15 isn’t a number we often think of with special significance in Judaism. 18? Absolutely. 10 for the kabbalists and the 10 Sayings? Of course. But 15? Aside from many holidays happening because it’s the full moon, it isn’t a number I had given much thought to Jewishly (or at all).

But, there are 15 steps to the seder. So what’s with the 15?
Gematria wise 15 is easily connected to the g-d name Yah – yod and heh do add up to 15. We don’t even write 15 as yod-heh /because/ its a g-d name! And so we write tet-vav instead. There are 15 birkat hashachar – morning blessings. There are 15 words in the priestly benediction.

But where the number 15 really shines is that there were 15 steps from the lower courtyard to the upper courtyard in the Beit haMikdash! When 15 arrives, its often related to priestly/sacrificial symbols, with the Beit haMikdash/Temple. These are the same steps of the amazing Festival of Drawing Water which took place during Sukkot – the courtyard lit all night and priests performing feats – juggling flaming torches and various acrobatic acts! [The most impressive was a type of bowing/prostration that involved lifting yourself up balanced solely on your thumbs!]

And during this, Talmud states they would sing a set of 15 tehillim/Psalms that David composed at the building of the Beit haMikdash. These Shirim Maalot/Songs of Ascent, Psalms 120-134 got composed because – while digging for the foundations of The Dwelling – tehom/depths rose up and David quelled them with these very prayers. Some say he made them retreat too much and that these psalms were to raise the water back to healthy levels for the land. Ergo, maalot – Rising.

So why am I talking about Sukkot so much? Because, Pesach and Sukkot are tied together. Our people’s time living in huts in Sukkot, the date haShem tells us to do that, is on the15th of Nisan – the same day as Pesach. And there’s the rainwater connection between our Tefillat Tal of Pesach and Sukkot leading to Tefillat Geshen/Tikkun haGeshen (and the OG Festival of Drawing Water).

Pesach is a time the heavens are open, that the shefa flows down, chesed wide open. Earthly water mystically mirrors the water above. By recalling the 15 steps – the Shirim Maalot and the Seder – we remember our water needs and the earth’s (physical and spiritual), we remind ourselves of the joyful practices of our ancestors and our own joy, and we place ourselves into the story of a greater totality that even just Pesach.

In ancient times, the kohanim celebrated up the steps, ascending to g-d and leaving many behind. But here in our Pesach, it is us everyday people that ascend these spiritual steps, ramps, ladders towards something beyond ourselves.

{ And to always remember the shadow side and mirror vision: Ascension must be balanced with nurturing the paths downward into our very core. Be wary of ladders that lead nowhere, recall that Yaacov did not climb that angel-covered sulam and yet g-d was still intimately immediately present. The truest ascension always carries the dark spark and burning hot point of your innermost self. }

Adar to Nisan – Joy into Freedom

Parsha Sh’mini is here to lead us towards the first day of Nisan – the inauguration of that wandering wonder, full of awe, the mishkan. Before we gave in to nationalism, this semi-portable altar unconnected from a particular land worship, kept us connected to divinity in that wilderness of our making.

That very day is the first commandment given to us while we were still in the narrows of Egypt – to celebrate your own calendar marked by the moon. While still enslaved, we were g-d told to make and mark our own time in ways unknown by overlords and masters.

It is that very day when Nadav and Avihu burn in righteous ecstatic love. Some blame the wine, that leftover jump-start to joy from delight at spring’s unfolding, a sort of anachronistic proto-Purim vibe. But haShem mourns them obliquely through the rest of Torah and Moshe seems to understand the intrinsic holiness, reaching for the glory of an unreachable g-d.

We are moving from Purim’s month of double-dose joy (this year quadrupled!) into Nisan’s Big Pesach Energy. In Jewish chronology, joy and happiness lead to freedom, to self-actualization and communal connection.

– What joys will you bring with you when you can carry only matzah?
– What chametz around “the other” must you burn from your heart to free yourself from Pharaoh?

– Where are your portable altars, the places you find divinity outside institution? What spaces are you recognizing and/or building within the greatest portable altar, your own self?

– As Emma Lazarus said and oppressed people after have expressed in a million different ways: “Until we are all free, we are none of us free.”
What are you doing to not just get yourself free, but others with you? What are you doing to ground yourself, to not burn up in passion like Nadav and Avihu when the world needs you here?

Living in the Age of Achasheverosh

or The Power of Purim against Edom / Imperialist Ethos

(general warning: I wanted this done by Purim, but I haven’t gotten to really edit it. So there may be mistakes, repetitions, and possible lack of clarity. Hopefully, it will still hit its mark! Chag samech Purim, dear hearts and beloveds!)

Why don’t we say Hallel on Purim?

Hallel – Tehillim 113-118 – is a part of our liturgy specifically tied to joyful and miraculous occasions. Rosh Hashanah 32b even has haShem ThemSelfs remind the angels we don’t say Hallel on Rosh haShannah or Yom Kippur because of their deep solemnity. We say Hallel from Tehillim on our big Torah holidays – the shalosh regalim: Pesach, Shavuot, and Sukkot. We even say a full Hallel on each day of Hannukah, a holiday that isn’t even in the Torah! Our own Talmud in Pesachim 110a tells us that Mordechai and Esther recited Hallel when they stood against Haman. And who can deny that Purim is the most officially joyous of Jewish holidays? So again, why no Hallel?

The Babylonian Talmud in – of course – tractate Megillah asks just this question!
So, the Gemara brings down three reasons. The first says Hallel can’t be said outside of The Land. But guess where the first Hallel happened? As we crossed the Yam Suf, the Reed Sea out of Egypt! (They later retcon the situation and say it was because Purim happened during exile) Rav Nachman then declares it’s because the Megillah /is/ Hallel for Purim! Then Rava ends the list stating that Purim doesn’t fill the requirements because the beginning of Hallel commands us avdei haShem – servants of haShem – to praise g-d. But to be servants of g-d we must not be servants of anyone else, certainly not of a king.
And then Rava blatantly states : אנן אכתי עבדי אחשׁורוֹשׁ – /Even now/ we are servants of Achasheverosh.

We are still not free enough from the shadow and patina of Purim, we are still servants of the king. When we went forth from Egypt, we were completely free from Pharaoh. But Purim, though it kept us gratefully alive, we did not free ourselves from the power of Achasheverosh. We are still servants of that kingdom.

So what are the servants of Achasheverosh like?

לֹ֤א עַל־הַמֶּ֙לֶךְ֙ לְבַדּ֔וֹ עָוְתָ֖ה וַשְׁתִּ֣י הַמַּלְכָּ֑ה כִּ֤י עַל־כׇּל־הַשָּׂרִים֙ וְעַל־כׇּל־הָ֣עַמִּ֔ים אֲשֶׁ֕ר בְּכׇל־מְדִינ֖וֹת הַמֶּ֥לֶךְ אֲחַשְׁוֵרֽוֹשׁ׃
Not upon the king alone … but upon ALL the ministers and upon ALL the people which are within ALL the cities …

So says Memucan, the “dignified” (his name’s meaning) minister of King Achashverosh, one of the “closest” of many listed servants. It’s another litany in a sefer full of extravagant, baroque, opulent descriptions; sentences that drip with wealth and excess. Most of those extravagances we think of as material – a party description longer than the snake’s entire role in Bereshit, the 12 months of oils and perfumes for each virgin the king had kidnapped, the regular refrain of the kingdom’s massive size.

But what is materially present also informs the shape of our selves and our culture. Our bodies and what world they live in tint our perceptions. Also baroque, also opulent and extravagant are the controlling decrees continuously posted to every city; the layers of protective power surrounding the king; even the order against the Jews is a triplicate of excess – to destroy, to murder, and to exterminate each and every Jew.

Memucan here tells the king that Vashti must be punished for her disobedience to king and husband. And the argument is not just about the personal relationship between the king and queen, the normal agreements humans make and break and mend between ourselves. This minister declares that Vashti has not only injured her husband/king and their relationship, but the /entire/ kingdom by her refusal. The royal couple are meant to be the example for the kingdom and if the king does not even have the power to command another human, then who does? And if the king can’t, then why do we even have a king? And that fear of questioning authority, the terror of the powerful to lose their authority, leads Memucan to this reasoning. Vashti’s individual choice is inflated and equated with an entire populace.

It’s hard for me to not see Achasheverosh as an enemy much like Haman, despite our willingness to play him as a silly ineffectual sort. When I read Achasheverosh, I can’t help but see the greed of those at the top of the world – hoarding and hungry for power. And Haman, Haman as a descendant of Esau becomes a symbol of Edom – the Roman empire, the founders of the imperialism we still inhabit today. And Memucan shows us their refrain, gives them exactly the words they want. “Blame the other.” “Inflate their fault.” “All All ALL.” The refrain of hoarded excess and it’s dark mirror xenophobia, the chorus of Sodom.

And what is Achasheverosh like?
Pompous. Dangerous. Rich and spoiled. Extravagant to a fault. Lecherous. Hungry for power and scared to lose face.

We still live in the Age of Achasheverosh. We are the servants of that dangerous extravagance. To undo capitalism is to undo this power. To undo the hatred of Haman is to undo the Age of Imperialism, the great golus and empire of exile we all now inhabit under world-wide Western power systems.

Purim is here to remind us of the possibilities of the topsy-turvy, of the revolution, of the disruption of hierarchy. When we finally overcome these great enemies of the Jewish people and the world, then we will finally have undone the Age of Achasheverosh.

There is a saying, a belief that in Olam haBa the only holiday will be Purim. And in that world we are making with each moment, on that Purim we will sing a tikkun: the grandest fullest Halell – the shalem Halell with the voices of Esau returned, with arias of Amalek, the harmony of Haman.

Amalek – the Enemy of Our Making

While I’m trying to write something Purim related, it really hit me how our rabbis essentially blame our own ancestors for the Jewish perpetual enemy par-excellence.
Haman is a descendant of Amalek, the very people we are told to blot out many times in Torah.* And who is Amalek? The grandson of Esau! Midrash tells us Amalek’s mother, Timna, came from the chiefs of Esau to convert. She went to the tents of Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaacov, yet none would allow her to enter our people. Even Avraham’s tent, wide open on four sides, could not accommodate her.

And so she said “Better for me to be a handmaiden to this nation (Am Yisrael) than a princess of that nation (her own people),” and marries Esau’s son, Eliphaz. The rabbis in tractate Sanhedrin assert that her willingness to lose higher status to become a concubine in the Jewish family, shows how true her interest in conversion was.

The rejection and gatekeeping of a righteous interested person created our greatest enemy. And yet, this greatest enemy is a descendant of Esau, is part of our lineage too. We no longer know the line of Amalek; there is no people of gene line to trace. How do we rectify this harm, when there is no longer a Timna or a people to apologize to? How can we unmake our great mistake?

Sanhedrin 96b tells us that the descendants of Haman – himself a descendant of Amalek – studied Torah in Bnei Brak! One commentary – Ein Yaacov – even gives us a name, R. Shmuel bar Shilat.

This problem is already solved in our texts! Even as far back as Talmud; Amalek’s children study Torah in Eretz Yisrael! But writing isn’t the same as doing. Go forth with this midrash in mind. Try to recall that harsh gatekeeping and unnecessary rejection created Amalek. Purim’s topsy turvy world means realizing our venerated ancestors created our greatest enemy. And we must do what we can to refuse the unbalanced power that creates Amaleks.

* I take the Reb Beruriah approach, that to turn my enemy away from hatred is to blot out that enemy.

Matzot Moon

Usually before seder there are three full moons of winter-into-spring.

Before seder arrives, Winter-
Spring brings down three full moons.

The first sharp as bright bud:
Shevet, the sap rising to remind.

The second split as yachatz
Adar, two faced as Yaacov and Esau.
Hilarity and genocide,
the stretched face
Laugh or
Grimace or
Two sides of
a flattened whole

The third comes soft as wings
Over the barley strewn
Shefa shefa she shifts
Softly sweeping chametz

Even the stale manna
Out out out of our
Selves

Freedom.

This year, Four moons face
Like full wine at seder
Like the Questions and Children
Like Exiles past and present.
Let us drink deep friends.
Let us enter the garden
Beloved.